Monumental Heartbreak

I made it through Viridian Forest to Pewter City safely. The Pewter Pokémon Gym was open and available, but Lucky was in no condition to train there. Instead we made daily forays into the forest to train against other Caterpie and Weedle. Eventually Lucky evolved into a Metapod which was amazing to watch. At the time, I was so excited to see an evolution first hand. It was the direct result of our diligent training together and it felt great to see Lucky move into his next life stage, growing stronger before my eyes. This physical manifestation of growth and improvement encouraged me to take our training to the next step. It encouraged me to take my team to the Pewter City Pokémon Gym.
I walked in headstrong and confident that my team was ready to face the challenges ahead. I announced myself as a challenger. I waited for the trainers representing the gym to step forward. I expected to face more than one young man before challenging Gym Leader Brock, but apparently this young trainer was the only one representing Brock that day. He only had two Pokéballs at his side, but he assured me I was no match for Brock. He was about to prove it to me firsthand.
He tossed out a Diglett which popped up out of the dirt floor of the gym. Kiwi took to the air. If the Diglett knew any ground attacks they would be wasted on Kiwi while he remained airborne. Kiwi opened with our classic Sand-Attack gambit to kick as much dust and dirt up into the Diglett's eyes as he could. Kiwi took a few scrapes as he wore down the Diglett's accuracy, but eventually the Diglett was completely ineffective. I switched in Nibbles to tackle the Diglett into submission.
The Junior Trainer revealed his final Pokémon to be a Sandshrew. Its defense was formidable so I used Nibble to distract him with a series of disorienting glares before pulling Nibble out of the battle. Rascal jumped in to eagerly sweep through the defenseless Sandshrew, but I miscalculated. After two vicious slashes from the Sandshrews sharp claws, Rascal was down and out. Rascal slumped to the ground unconscious. My heart sank into my stomach and I felt faint. I failed Rascal.
It was in that moment of horrible defeat that it occurred to me that I should have used a potion on Rascal. I shouldn't have let him suffer those two powerful attacks head on. I should have sent in Kiwi to wear down the Sandshrew's accuracy. Lucky didn't stand a chance against this Pokémon if it took out Rascal so easily. Kiwi was my only chance to get out of this mess. I knew that if I didn't keep my head in the game, I might be saying goodbye to more than one Pokémon that afternoon. I tried to shake off my sorrow and focus on the battle ahead.
Kiwi was much faster than the Sandshrew. He kept firmly out of reach and launched a series of quick attacks on the Sandshrew to finish it off. The Junior Trainer conceded defeat, but it was I who felt defeated that day. This young boy had no idea I'd just recently vowed to never fight my Pokémon to the point of unconsciousness. Now, just days after determining the way I wished to train and respect Pokémon, my resolve was going to be tested. Rascal and I would have to part ways.
I explained this to the trainer who didn't quite understand, but he said the gym would be happy to watch after Rascal for me. Rascal was always enthusiastic about training and living here at the gym would be a fitting end to our relationship, so I agreed.
I took Rascal to the Pokémon Center and waited for him to recover from his injuries. I don't really know if he understood, but I explained to him that in order for us to grow stronger I would need to let him go. We had to follow different paths, now. I had chosen a training style where I would not let my Pokémon fall in battle and even though Rascal was my very first Pokémon companion, I could not go back on my conviction. We said our goodbyes. I released Rascal to the care of the Junior Trainer at the Pewter City Pokémon Gym and withdrew my challenge.

It's an understatement to say that I was devastated. In that moment, I certainly regretted making it my personal goal as a trainer to not push my Pokémon too far. As Wolf had said, it's just part of the training to the average trainer. You win some and you lose some. But that just wasn't my way. I wanted to build a place where I could protect Pokémon and people would come from all around to study and understand them better. I had to be better than the average trainer. I had to hold myself to a higher standard. Pokémon would fight. They would fight to protect me in the wild, and they would fight for my dream in competitive matches. But I had to have limits. I had to take responsibilities for my failures and this was the only way I knew how to do that.
Rascal was the first of many such failures, and saying goodbye to my first Pokémon was certainly one of the most painful experiences as a Pokémon Trainer that I have ever faced. Back in those days in Pewter City, I questioned everything about my journey. I spent a long time just wondering if I should return to Professor Oak and give up. These thoughts just stemmed from the profound sadness and disappointment, though. Ultimately, I would move on. I would grow stronger and persevere.
Beyond the tremendous heartbreak of failing to protect my first Pokémon, I was also terrified of Brock. This failure humbled me tremendously. Everything I did going forward would be taken slowly and with greater attention to strategy. This included returning to challenge Brock. Without Rascal, my team had a gaping hole that needed to be filled. The only one who could fill that hole was Lucky and so we left Pewter temporarily to train like our lives depended on it. I would absolutely not lose another Pokémon in this city.

Current Team: